Darren Edwards | From falling to thriving

6th August 2016 Darren Edwards life changed forever. Whilst rock climbing in North Wales, he was involved in a serious fall which would alter the shape of his life forever after leaving him instantly paralysed from the chest down. However this life changing injury hasn't stopped Darren pushing himself to the limit - he has trained as part of Great Britain’s Paracanoe Team, pioneered adaptive free diving in the UK, and in 2021 became the first disabled person to kayak from Land’s End in Cornwall to John O’ Groats in Scotland. He says ‘I have refused to let the word disability define who I am as a person and am committed to helping challenge the perception of what those with a disability can achieve.’ 

Find Darren on Instagram - @darrenedwards_adventurer
Darren's website - https://darrenedwards.org.uk/

This series is sponsored by Island Feather, an amazing brand that creates high quality, multi-purpose, stylish sports and fitness wear and accessible events -  Island Feather's mission is to support you to live a healthy life, discover what makes you happy and create a community of support and care for one another . For me, having just become a mother their motto 'Find your freedom’ resonates  more than ever and I am stoked to have them as a sponsor!

You can find this episode on iTunes, Spotify and many other podcast platform 💙

If you have any questions or would like to suggest a guest please get in touch! You can email India via indiapearsonclarke@gmail.com or send a message via Instagram  @india_outdoors / @finandflow / www.indiapearson.co.uk

~Music - Caleb Howard Almond / @oakandalmondcarpentry ~

You can find this episode on iTunes, Spotify and many other podcast platform

If you have any questions or would like to suggest a guest please get in touch! You can email India via indiapearsonclarke@gmail.com or send a message via Instagram @india_outdoors / @finandflow / www.indiapearson.co.uk

~Music - Caleb Howard Almond / @oakandalmondcarpentry

Transcript

India Pearson  0:01  
Hello, I'm India and welcome to the third series of star triple the podcast that celebrates moving in nature. This series is sponsored by Island feather, an amazing brand that creates high quality Multi Purpose fitness where and events I am fed. His mission is to support you to live a healthy life. Discover what makes you happy and create a community of support and care for one another. For me, having just become a mom their motto, find your freedom resonates more than ever, and I'm stoked to have them as a sponsor. Okay, it's time to introduce my guest.

In August 2016 Darren Edwards life changed forever, was rock climbing in north Wales. He was involved in a serious fall, which altered the shape of his life after leaving him instantly paralysed from the chest down. However, this life changing injury didn't stop down and pushing himself to the limit. He is trained as part of Great Britain's power canoe team pioneered adaptive free diving in the UK, and in 2021 became the first disabled person to kayak from Land's End in Cornwall to John O'Groats in Scotland. He says, I have refused to let the word disability define who I am as a person. And I'm committed to helping challenge the perception of what those with a disability can achieve. Hello, Darrin, welcome to start the roofer podcast. How are you? I'm very good. Thank you so much for having me on. Really appreciate the opportunity. Oh, it's a pleasure. I'm so excited to have you here. So many questions for you. I'm not sure we're gonna have enough time actually to put them all in. But let's start from the beginning. Where did your referrals start? If you could tell us a little bit about your background? Yeah, so for me, I've not always it's one of those things. I've not always been disabled. So when I meet people for the first time, I think sometimes people kind of assume that I've always been in a wheelchair. Whereas for me, my life didn't really change until I was 26. It kind of had two distinct chapters. I think my teen years I was not an outdoorsy, adventurous person at all. I was in a group of friends that liked football, drinking and girls, and probably not in that order, I think.

Darren Edwards  2:18  
And I like that.

Very good with women at all. But it wasn't until I was 17 that you go to college. So I live it up interruption, and you kind of mix with people from different secondary schools. And I met the guy that would one day saved my life. And that would that was Matt and our, and I look back. It's so cheesy when I think back, you know, you kind of get mixed and thrown into these classes. And we were chatting about kind of, you know, our likes and interests. And he was like, I'm, I'm really into climbing and mountaineering and I was like, I've never done that. But there was something there that was kind of like it I was interested in it. And he's he said have you heard of this guy called Bear Grylls and I never like obviously now he's like an internet you know will superstars me, but me coming from, you know, football drinking and girls background. I was like no who? So he was like, right, you've got to come around and watch an episode together. And I remember I went round to his house one one weekend. And I think we watched three or four episodes back to back and I was like, Oh my God, this guy is you know, like, what he's doing is so cool. And it was, I think then that was like, shall we do you want to go on an adventure. And we live about an hour hour and a half from Snowdonia. And I remember going up my first ever time in the mountains was going up snowed and over crib goch, which for those listeners that know it is like a ridge that's got 300 foot drops in either side. And I was slightly catching my pants admittedly, but also completely exhilarated and completely, like connected to nature for the first time in my life. And it was that it was that one DVD that we watched and it was that first ever mountain summit that just completely hooked me and to be honest, life completely changed. Just just there then in there. And I kind of threw myself into to climbing mountaineering learning to rock climb, you know, go mountaineering at the weekend, joining a local club. And it's funny, isn't it, you're on kind of one trajectory, you meet somebody that has a defining kind of impact on your life, or you don't know it in the first seconds of meeting them. And then all of a sudden, you know, I spent nine incredible years before you know, something happened that we'll talk about. Just absolutely falling in love with. Adventurer, the outdoors, climbing, mountaineering, and just kind of discovering that this was the person I think I was always meant to be. Just had never had that kind of connection. Yeah. And he was it that was the door to this whole new world is that sort of I spoke about this with another guest actually on on the podcast, and it's that butterfly effect, isn't it? You look back and you realise if you hadn't met that person, this wouldn't have happened in

and you just think wow,

It just shows just those sometimes brief encounters can change your life forever.

Gwyneth Paltrow slide indoors. Yeah. Yeah, we had we not been sat next to each other by a random teacher in a random classroom. We made you would never had that. Yeah, exactly. I could be 10 years later, still failing with women drinking and playing football. So he saved me from years of that. Yeah. And obviously sounds like saved you from a lot, a lot more as well. So I know, see in 2016 is where you had a big life changing event? Could you tell us more about that? Yeah, yeah. So yeah, 2016. So I was 2026 years old. And we were climbing, I was climbing with Matt that day. So he's in the Navy. So he spent a lot of time down south. But when he would come up at the weekends, we've got right to get in the car, let's go. And there's something of a sweet irony to the fact that where we were climbing that day, it was called World's End, I didn't quite get the kind of, you know, the way that it would have a huge, it would kind of end one world for me in a way. But we were climbing up world zone, which is 120 foot sort of rock face broken up into four pitches that are 3035 foot in height. And I'm Lee climbing. So I'm sure you loads your listeners will know like you're putting in the protective gear as you're going flipping the rope through. And we get to the final pitch of the day. And I do remember he was I think we spent pretty much the whole day talking about one girl that he matched with on Tinder that he was going on the first date with that night. And he was there was kind of a sense of urgency, right, let's kind of wrap this up. Let's get home so I can shower and get out on this date. And it's his final pitch, I get to the top. And you know, I don't have nothing happens while I'm climbing. And I'm stood at the top, I look back down at Matt and I start reading up a be late points, I can bring him up. And he I think makes three or four attempts to get up to me and can't make the climb. So we just agree that the ledge he's on leads straight off to sort of have a long track back down to the car bike, there's probably a quickest exit kind of thing. So I then start to get ready to upsell back down to him. I'm just on the edge of this ledge looking kind of over my left shoulder. And I just say something down to him. And there's like, you know, there's essentially the 100 foot drop below me, which is broken up by this tiny ledge which is probably no more than a six foot wide which mat is stood on. And it's as I then face back to my anchor point. And I'm not kind of mentally committed to, to going just in that second. And it was in that millisecond that whatever I was stood on cracks and shifted, and it dropped and leant backwards. And it was an old limestone quarry. And even when you climbing it, you kind of feel things coming off in your hand a little bit you have to ease up ease up on the pressure. But before I knew it, I'd been thrown off this cliff face. And all I can hear is the sound of my my rope slipping through my, my sort of my belay device. And I froze, completely froze.

I think maybe because I wasn't mentally committed to the upsell, just in that moment. And I was in like a purely relaxed state that when I suddenly had that roller coaster, Oblivion, Alton Towers feeling of just, you know, the bottom of the stomach kind of wrenching feeling and that sheer fear of what is about to happen. And then I think for the next three to four seconds, I'm tumbling and I'm looking at this perfect blue sky. But I know that for the first time in my life I've everything is completely out of my control. And I was honest, honestly, just so fearful that I was about to die. And I was so acutely aware of it I was so acutely aware of I was about to never potentially never see my family, my friends, my girlfriend again. And it seemed that I had all of this time to contemplate what could happen. But I know that as I'm falling I shot that name three times. And I didn't know it but it was shouting his name that was one of the factors that saved my life because he he knew that I was coming down. You know, unexpectedly I wasn't I wasn't just slowly upselling then I was coming down at quite a rate and I land flat on my back. I don't know at that moment, but I've I've essentially broken my back into and I've paralysed myself instantly on impacts and I started to tumble and I'm about to tumble off what would be another 3540 foot pitch, which would then lead to another 30 foot drop and then to a scree slope at the bottom. And as I'm just about to roll off this six foot wide ledge grassy ledge, Matt sprints from where he is and rugby tackles my body as it's kind of rag dolling off this next section. So I think my right arm is off the precipice and I didn't really I didn't realise the significance of what he did then in there.

Mainly because

As my brain was in a state of what the hell just happened, but he saved my life had he not got to me in time had I not shouted his name three times, he might have missed me by a second two seconds before I, my body slumped off, you know, I was completely out of control. I was trying to grasp things, but it was all happening so quickly, I couldn't self rescue. And I'm there lying in the dirt, the sort of dust is settling. And I think it was maybe a couple of minutes after we honestly spent the first two minutes beating off this attack events, I think I crashed through a crash through an ant colony on my way down on my right arm was less rated. So initially, I thought I'd broken my arm and I was just being attacked by and so it wasn't until both of those subsided and we beaten off this attack, that I go to stand up. And I just looked down at my body motionless. And then I realised that my brain didn't know that didn't couldn't sense that three quarters, nobody existed.

India Pearson  11:00  
I don't think I breathed through.

He said, He's saying that I was like, what story?

I'm really curious, you know, how you saying how you sort of affording for three, four seconds? But you could it went through your brain? All these things you could sort of, really compartmentalise everything. How long did it feel like even though it would have been only a couple of seconds? How long did it feel like to you? It felt like minutes, as opposed to four seconds of falling. I think based on the height, probably three, four seconds of falling. It felt like minutes because I, I had so much contemplation time as to the individual significance of who I was about to leave behind. And I'm not, you know, I think I'm someone that's always been open to the possibility of there being a gold or being religious, I'm kind of I don't know, is agnostic, were you kind of open to it. But I felt so sure that this was going to be it, I think

Darren Edwards  12:01  
I'd come to terms with the fact that I might just see black and that was it. And that was really scary. And I think it's having that experience, which actually has turned out to be a huge psychological benefit to me. Because whilst my life would change in in so many ways, and it would be such a challenging time. The fact that I remember being in intensive care, we're probably skipping ahead a bit here. But being in intensive care and seeing, you know, my mum for the first time, and just saying words, I'm sorry to like, and I was completely high on morphine of nine hour surgery. And I was just I felt guilty, but I felt so lucky.

So and I think people thought I was a little bit kind of like a brain injury when I was trying to say to people, no, no, I feel lucky. And I think it's when you're the person that's that close to, and when I know that second separated me from being saved from dying, I wouldn't have survived the rest of the fall.

It was Was there an ambulance that had come in to get you to hospital? Had I not been in a world of pain, it would have been probably the coolest experience in my life. So we were on that ledge for for two hours for a very long two hours. mountain rescue team arrived about 45 minutes later. I tried to as a typical bloke does underplay the whole thing. And they asked me what my pain score was at a 10. I said seven because I was trying to give this like, air of I'm right, don't worry about me. And I'm sure it was like 100

On a scale of 10 It was on a scale of 100 I think that's a typical just man reaction. They're just sometimes we we are afraid to admit when we're in pain when we need help. But they turned up 45 minutes later, Coast Guard it so because of the precarious nature of the ledge the air ambulance wasn't an option. And I needed to be evacuated kind of straight from where I was in terms of my spinal injury or suspected spinal injury at that time. So a Coast Guard helicopter comes and hovers over this you know imposing cliff and I remember just being on my back being on a spinal Ward looking up and just seeing these massive you know, this downwash from the rotor blades, and it was it looked like it was centimetres from the from the cliff itself. So I kind of had this on my daughter, I'm not going to go this way, you know, helicopter crashing into the cliffside. But I was, you know, winched out of there two hours after the oh the the injury and and that started a sort of five month process through intensive care rehabilitation. Being on spinal Ward, but it was on that cliff edge and I think it's probably lose something we will talk about. It was on that cliff edge that I made, probably the most important commitment to myself, that I've ever made. And that was to I didn't say it out loud and say it for anyone else's benefit but my own

And it was me telling myself that whatever this is, and I think it's important to remember at this point that I didn't know what this was, you know, there was a huge element of me that was thinking it could just be shock. The, the mountain rescue team was saying that I could have broken my pelvis, which was, you know, leading to the temporary paralysis, my legs, they said, This could be a spine, and I heard all of this going on around me, they're kind of talking it through with each other. And I'm just this kind of like immobile patient, higher morphine at this point. But I kind of, you know, said to myself, whatever this is, I won't let it beat me.

Whatever this is, go into it, like you're throwing yourself into any other challenge, you know, attack it be brave. And don't let it define who you become. Is that was that very much a reflection of what you you've how you've lived your life up until then, anyway? Or

India Pearson  15:54  
was there something that happened in that moment of that fall that made you

tend you to this extremely determined person?

Darren Edwards  16:04  
Yeah, cuz that that is that that's quite as sort of statement to make yourself when you are in, you know, unbelievable pain, you're on the side of a cliff, air ambulances coming over? And you have no idea what is going on? Because you would have been in shock as well, I'm sure. So yeah. Is that is that a reflection of what you were like before is that just something that happened in that moment, and you kind of changed as a person, I think it was a combination of both. I think there was one element of me that knew that if I didn't make that big commitment, then in there, that this could all run ahead of me. And I knew that that moment was probably the, if there was any moment to stop my authority on kind of like having that accountability to myself. Because I could sense that I was about to go through probably, well, not even probably, I could sense that I was going to go through the most challenging thing I'd ever experienced. And I think fortunately, I tell you what, had I not spent nine years, pushing myself out of my comfort zone. So you know, climbing, whether it's in the UK or in the Alps. And then I was, you know, I've gone through the physical selection process for the SS reserve. And I was gone on to the continuation training aspect of that, where you're learning to be a Special Forces soldier. And that is kind of an environment where you're, you're purposely testing your own limits. So I think those two kind of parts to my life gave me that little bank of resilience and self belief that I needed. I think, had I not had that had, I've been that same guy I was when I was 16. And I've been involved in a car crash, and I've not had these kind of formative experiences, I think I would have dealt with things very differently. And have you have you always been like a glass is half full person rather than half empty? The link would use that positive idea. Yeah, I've had to be ever since that day, I've had to be. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And your your rehabilitation journey, is why I'd really like to find out about see, the five months, I think I've read that you're involved in surgery and intensive care. So having been such an active person,

India Pearson  18:20  
how did you cope with this? You know, imagine you spent so much time in hospital during this, you know, not being going to be able to be outdoors, not just just just to take in fresh air, in a forest or woodland or whatever, you know, what? How did you find that time?

Darren Edwards  18:38  
tough, really tough. So, the next day, I kind of come round. And I'm told that I've gone through like a, like a nine hour surgery. And the doctors just they tell you exactly how it is. You know, Darren, I'm really sorry to let you know that you've sustained a severe spinal cord injury. And you need to come to terms with the fact that you will never walk again. You know, and I'd heard of stories of people that have you know, had spinal injuries and learn to walk again. But when you you know, when you damage your spinal cord to the extent that I had and had been shown this cans that black and white, not black and white in some of the cases, but

I knew then in there that I had to

accept the my kind of not my limitation, I had to accept that as fact. And I had to move past it. And I had to focus on what I could control and not kind of torture myself by thinking of all the things that I was about to lose, I think it was just throw yourself into this and let's see what you can do. You know, if you're going to be in a wheelchair, let's make sure that you're bloody good. Being in a wheelchair. And it was during that kind of process to intensive care was really difficult because you're in a very

sort of intense environment. There's no natural light

There's no natural air just like you were saying. And I think it was about day five or six that I was really psychologically emotionally struggling. And I can't remember who it was that saw it, I think it might have been my mum could just sense it in me. And before I know it, the nurses are wheeling out through these double doors, into the ambulance loading bay. So it's no way glamorous. But for the first time, in five days, after going through, you know, a huge emotional roller coaster, I felt the sun on my face, and I felt fresh air. And it was that that just recharging the batteries. 200% literally just smoke just breathing in fumes or in the back of an ambulance. But it was just that sense of a breeze against the skin. And remember, you know, from five days ago, I'd been whisked off and shoved in this really sterile environment.

But you know, past intensive care, you're then you do six weeks of bed rest, where you're lying flat on your back for six weeks, because you're letting your body recover from surgery, you're letting your your back heel swelling go to go down. So that's six weeks of being indoors. Luckily, it timed with the Olympics and the Paralympics, there was ample TV, I remember asking my physio if I could have some weights to just just to do something with my upper body. And I think they were like Darren Yeah, this is called bed rest, you need to kind of focus on that second word and just embrace it.

And then it's the kind of once you through that, you then start to really take charge of your recovery because you start to rehabilitate properly, to learn to use wheelchair to learn to transfer and to do all the things that you I do on a daily basis now without a second thought. But at the time, it's this, it's this huge hurdle that you need to overcome, because you need to prove to them you know, by the four or five month mark that you're ready to. And they call it from the from the from the zoo to the jungle, because in the zoo, you're looked after you're fed, you're medicated, anything goes wrong, someone there. And then I tell you why it becomes really scary. When you get closer and closer to your discharge date. And God in my case, my relationship, a three year relationship ended, my partner came in and just sit down and I can't, I'm so sorry, I can't do this, and turned around and walked out. I never saw her again.

So then it was like dealing with life changing energy, dealing with heartbreak dealing with all of the kind of impact that had on my how I perceive myself, I thought I was like I thought I was doing really well. I thought that I was being really positive about all of this. And maybe I've deluded myself. But you know, some looking back in some ways, going through that additional challenge was the making of me, because it made me more determined to come out of this in a positive way. And it was because of that, that I asked for a day away from the hospital. I knew what I had in my, in my mind, I committed myself to this. And they said yeah, you know, I think you're at the point now where you can have a day leave suddenly that you have to also leave from like a Daisley. And me Matt, you know, the guy that saved my life, we drove up to Manchester, which about an hour and a half from the hospital I was in and we went to a coffee shop. And we went in and I still had my bloody hospital wristband on my on my wrists. A guy in there was like, How can I help you gents

and we said we're here to buy kayak was a buy two kayaks, we precise. And then in there, you know, I saw this blue sea kayak and I was like that is it. That is my ticket to being the same year. And I think I'd had a refusal to change as a person from the moment and my injury you meet so many people that come in that are x patients that kind of tell you to live a life a bit more limited, and to live within your new kind of like limits and I think they let the disability define them. And this was me kind of saying,

and I spent 800 pounds on a kayak and all the bits to go with it never clicked in my life before this point. And the next day I speak to my physio and I'm kind of like Amy, do you? Do you think that somewhat of my you know, so I'm paralysed from the chest down? And she said, I said do you think someone with high levels of injury could kayak and she said I think she took a long like inhale and said

I probably think wheelchair tennis wheelchair basketball Darren foot for a high level spinal. And she said Why do you ask and it was at that moment that I knew I had to show the picture so just kind of got my phone at the back of my chair and showed her this picture of me sat next to this kayak and she went please tell me that's not yours.

And that was it. That was the the most important purchase I've ever made in my life because it was a financial commitment and figurative commitment and everything else to

leaving this place and still being the same version of myself. Maybe just in a slightly different mode of transport. Just looking at it from different point of view adjusting

India Pearson  25:00  
Knowing what you need needed to be used still and adjusting how you go about about that. Our curiosity, how did Matt feel?

Obviously, he sounds like he's been he was super supportive friend throughout. And you know, when you turned around to him and said, Let's go kayaking. How did he feel about taking? I guess that responsibility as a friend, having been through this incredible,

Darren Edwards  25:29  
crazy experience with you and obviously extremely scary as well? How did he take the ongoing? Okay, we were doing this and I'm going to do this with you is was he apprehensive? Or was he like? Yeah, okay, let's go. I don't think he hesitated for a second. I think he was part of that thought process in terms of how do we recapture? You know that, because the friendship was built from day one on adventure, and it was built on pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and, and I think it was just a natural evolution. Yeah. And then made cause perhaps, but it was like a next step in the evolution of our friendship. And I don't think he liked me, he didn't see the barriers to disability. And I think disability so much is in the mindset. And I certainly don't have a disabled mindset. I call myself a disabled adventurer, because I like to think that putting those two words together is such a contrast is challenging the perception of what, you know, high level spinal injury person can achieve, but I don't think he he hesitated for a second and I have such an amazing group of friends around me that the so I'm discharged on 24th of December five months after, you know, my life completely changed in so in a lot of ways, not in every way. And on the 24th of December, Christmassy Bach Christmassy, so sorry. We've hired the local swimming pool, one of my friends had hide the local swimming pool for two hours. And the very next day, we were there, all the cat both metavolcanic as well both the kayaks and that was the start of the journey. You know, that was that was day one. And God I was rubbish. I was at all my friends did everything to be gentle and in a you know, completely flat, motionless pool. But the more I fell in, and I fell in a lot within seconds every time the more I fell in the more determined I was and the more I fell in love with it, I think because I think that first time i capsized, it must have been two seconds after being pushed onto the water. I can imagine. I think my my sister said that everybody kind of looked at each other. And it was that how's he gonna react? Yeah, yeah. Anyway,

I'm pretty sure I came out laughing and I was like, I bet everybody was holding their breath and their shoulders up. And then she started laughing when?

Just wanted to make sure I can get out and not drown. Yeah, that was

India Pearson  27:57  
how about your first time out? Was it a river? You went? Yeah, first Yeah, River. Yeah. How was that because that, you know, in in a certain point in a closed, closed water, safe environment, those people around you, you know, very difficult to go out in nature. And obviously, that's what you were, that was the goal. We know, the goal is not to kayak in a swimming pool. Get what you're wanting from that. So how was that first experience? I'd be I'd be lying. If I said I wasn't nervous, I'd be lying. I said I was a bit tentative about the whole thing. It was scary. You know, it was it was scary, like you said, going from a sterile environment to a moving river. And then all of those kind of possibilities of all these, you know, I don't really focus on the risk factors, as you could probably tell, but there was the possibility that things could you know, I could capsize in a river, my foot got stuck, I can't move my foot. I can't feel my foot. How would I know? But it's kind of putting that you know, that voice of self doubt and that kind of inner monologue that we all have in our brains, which is the the kind of the alarm bell that it's trying to limit what the environments you put yourself in, you know, that voice wants me to stay in my comfort zone. And that voice probably wants me to listen to everyone that came into hospital and said, Darren, maybe think about something wheelchair based first. So I was nervous and I was tentative, but it was, I think, taking those first few the longer that we stayed out the more comfortable I became. And the more secure I felt I actually realised that I can do this. And that self belief started to build slowly but surely and we went from you know, river the first time to Lake balo a really gorgeous lake in Wales near us. And then you push a bit further away from the bank and a bit further away from the shoreline. And it was just a natural progression. And you know, we had we had me we have Matt in his kayak we had a friend called Harry who was in this massive kind of sit on top fishing kayak. And we he became the designated safe

Darren Edwards  30:00  
If you go, we go and we refer to him as that he would like to shadow me. And if anything went wrong, he would jump in and he grabbed me. And that was kind of a really lovely psychological safety net for me because I knew that my my guys were there for me, I wouldn't be left, you know, floundering if something did happen. And I needed that. So I'm so fortunate to have like minded people around me, but I think that's, we cultivate our friendships, don't we, with people that are similar minded?

But yeah, so yeah, so nervous and tentative with the first Yeah. But did you did you adventure, you know, build up to that point where you suddenly were able to kind of just have that, you know, feeling the splashes of the water against your skin feeling, you know, whatever it was the weird everything, all those things that you can experience in hospital, and you're yearning for

that sort of, did you have like, I don't know, euphoric moment when you thought, Okay, we're doing this. I found I found my light. Yeah. How was that? Yeah, I think that was probably sat in the middle of a lake in Snowdonia, right in the middle, you know, hundreds of metres from each bank, and feeling kind of that security and knowing that nothing was going to happen. And then just looking around taking that breath, looking at the trees, the mountains on the horizon. And I remember just thinking like, Well, nothing's changed, like, the mode of transport has changed. Yes. But I'm still ticking the same boxes that I was taking before. Still being you, yeah, still be me. And actually, it felt even sweeter. Because when someone or something takes everything away from you, and you can, you know, somehow rebuild and kind of get back to where you were. The the sense of achievement and reward and accomplishment is far beyond. You know, we'll talk about the kayak expedition. I like doing things like that.

It made me it's been so much harder work. The whole year has been a five year journey so far. And every you rebuild stronger,

and

bigger dreams, bigger aspirations and achievements, you have definitely, obviously pursued because you then went on to become the first disabled person to kayak for 1400 kilometres. From Land's End to John O'Groats.

India Pearson  32:34  
So what So how did this idea come from sitting peacefully on your kayak absorbing nature thinking, yes, I've got this I'm back moving on back doing what I love to write, I need to take this to another level. Now, let's let's let's just cut the length of the UK. You know what, it came from a failure, it came from the I think it came from the first time my adult life that I'd failed at something I set out to do. And that was, you know, while I was in hospital, Paralympics wrong. And I remember watching Paralympic hiking, and I was like, and to be fair, that was probably what planted that seed of kayaking as a way of nature. So I kind of, you know, six months after that year off Max, and I went and had a trial day at the British Paralympic team. And then I spent three years as part of their, you know, development pathway for the next generation of athletes that were looking at Tokyo. So all of a sudden, my purpose, you know, my reason for getting out of bed in the morning for training for my whole drive was towards achieving this one thing, which was Tokyo 2020. And I thought, Oh, my God, four years after my accident, I could be doing exactly the thing that inspired me from my hospital bed, you know, the worst kind of most challenging moments of my life. So I completely threw myself into, you know, full time training and achieving this one thing. And I didn't, I didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't come to fruition, I didn't get quick enough times, you know, the number one from each country goes, and each category goes. And I was number two. And I wasn't gaining on number one, I was kind of, if anything, my time is dropping off. And I was battling with a shoulder injury. And I remember the day that I think I realised that this dream has slipped through my fingers.

Darren Edwards  34:21  
And it took it took a little bit for me to realise that, you know, failure isn't always a and a bad thing. And actually, failure is never a full stop. And it was only once I kind of reflected on the fact and I thought you know, what, what have I achieved these last three years? And who am I still as a person, regardless of this failure, and it was in that kind of, you know,

grieving process that one thing that I wanted to achieve wouldn't achieve that, that kind of moment of, you know what, hold on a minute. I'm still in control of my future here. So if I'm not going to do this one thing, then maybe we go back to the true roots of who you

are as a person and we do something that's as much of a challenge as the Paralympics, but on an adventure scale, not on a sports scale. So I call up for my friends that are, you know, each have gone through life changing injuries that are ex military. And I was like, Guys, I've got an idea. And I kind of laid it out. I said, Land's End to John O'Groats by kayak, how about it? And that was as much research as I'd done. I was like, almost a distance I was on like a plotter app. And I was like, I think it's about 1400 kilometres, guys, it'll take, I don't know, 35 days, maybe, then you can tell that you're surrounded by the right people when without much hesitation that we're like, Yeah, let's make it happen. And this is, you know, July 2020, that this idea is kind of born. And we're saying in 12 months time we're going to take a team of five people were life changing injuries that I've got no right at all, to be trying to take this challenge on what none of us would proceed, because Luke,

I think his entire kayaking experience was 15 minutes on his honeymoon in Cancun. And I remember the first time we came together as a as a team to train like our launched a kayak for heroes, we came up with a name, rather predictable name, but I remember Luke just going around in circles doing donuts in on this like Lake in the Cotswolds, and he and he, he came off it and he was like, mate, I hate it, what am I doing?

And we said, right, in 12 months time, we're going to set off day one, and we're gonna do this, and I had so many people tell me that,

you know, people like us, and people die by that they meant people with, you know, various injuries, you know, and people that weren't at a certain level of sea kayaking. It shouldn't be done, it couldn't be done, it'd be impossible. We'd fail, you know, in the first week, let alone the first month. And I think it was that that was a bit of fuel to the fire for all of us. Because, you know, probably like a lot of your listeners were people that like to prove themselves, right and others wrong. So God, you know, 12 months after, and this was like a 12 month period of lockdown to lock down three. So all of this like training schedule we'd had was completely out the window. And before we know it, it's 12 months later, it's June 19 2021. And we're bobbing off the coast of Cornwall live lands and you know, 100 foot cliffs off to our right hand side waves smashing against them. And we're just about to drop the boats in the water for that first stroke of the expedition. And I think all of us were completely daunted half the boat receives it. The other half. I was feeling sick because I had people retching right next to me. So that was setting me off. And And yeah, that was the start of what would be the greatest adventure and the biggest challenge of my life. Yeah. I mean, I think I think it's really interesting, you sort of talking about purpose, because

I think this is something that we all we all need, I think I often find them and I'm off when I've got take myself and I found myself in a rut and of going through a dark time or whatever. It's all I look back at is a lack of purpose that I find myself there. And it's that idea that you said where you know, failure didn't

have to fall, it doesn't have to have a full stop, you know, we need to learn from our failures, don't we? And you could have stopped right there and gone. Nope, you know what, but you redefine your purpose. And, and you know, there's, there's no one there's no rules and how many times we can redefine our purpose either.

India Pearson  38:36  
And, you know, having this mad idea to cut the length of the UK, also via the sea, which is because you could have chosen canals and stuff. Really, can you? Yeah, yeah, we

Darren Edwards  38:51  
I guess.

Yeah. So why see? Well, I don't know, it's just the challenges, there

was the potential for it to be this incredible. And it was it didn't fail to deliver just so many moments on the exhibition. So we had like a support boat, that would take us we had two, two main kayaks, and we would do it as like, there would always be one boat in the water, and it'd be like a rolling relay. So you would do a 40 minute section, the other team would jump in 40 minutes back in 40 minutes, and it would come we would bounce along.

And I remember when we started the planning process, someone was saying to me about like, tidal patterns and, and I was like, Sorry, what, you know, so we had 12 months of upskilling ourselves to become competent enough from a theoretical point of view to make this happen. But yeah, that that first day, you know, we're going past all of these huge landmarks. We're, we're paddling past some of those gorgeous coastline. And every day I looked at what we were doing, I looked at the team, I looked at what we were achieving, and I thought, God, I never would have experienced any of this. Had I not had

My accident had I not redefined the purpose, like we were saying from the accident. And I was completely pushing my limit, like, I will happily admit that every day, I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone, that at the end of the day, my brain was a bit fragged. And we'd have to go back to our accommodation, I'd have to brief the guys for the next day. I think because it was my idea. I became like the default expedition leader. So I'm kind of giving these briefings and kind of doing things I'm not normally comfortable doing like check, like delivering a briefing to a group of like, you know, grizzled blokes kind of thing. And I was, every minute I was paddling, I was testing the limit of my disability, and how far I could push my body, how far? How much can someone that has no, so I've got no function of any of my ad will call muscles or my legs, or my glutes, anything that all of those things that turn out to be really useful for sea kayaking, when it comes to stability. And I think it was like, day two, day three, where I started to my,

I started to realise the potential that I had, you know, I started to think back to day one, and I was like, I feel like a different bloke, day three, day four to day one. And I remember on day three, we're paddling along, which would have been near Ilfracombe to the North Devon coastline. And there's a wave that kind of is coming from our rear. And we catch this wave and I'm paddling with Jim who was our like, technical coach and safety expert. And he was like, right go battle battle battle. And all of a sudden, my my rate picks up. And before I know it, we're riding the top of this wave, and I see the the kind of Garmin watch with the speed on speed on it accelerate to like 16 1718 kilometres an hour. And we were riding the top of this wave, and when the waves have subsided, he was in front. And he said, Darren, my friends will not believe me, when I tell them, what you what mean, you have just done because this has never been done. And he said, no one like you has ever done anything like this. And I think it's so nice to, to, to know that because so many those people that I refer to that came into hospital, were so limiting in their, in their beliefs. And if I took them at face value, I would have limited my own kind of aspirations. So it's so nice to go in and to talk to guys that are going through what I went through five years ago and be like, I tell you what, one day, you will do something that will redefine what this is all about.

India Pearson  42:33  
So in that moment, you were riding that wave? You know, that sounds like an incredible experience, did you feel sort of true happiness? And I only asked this question because actually, it was only today that I was listening to a podcast. It was Jay Shetty talking on this podcast, and he was saying something along the lines of Happiness is when you know, your experiences are special balanced with with being challenged at the same time. So if you're not, if you've got these experiences, or you know, there's knowledge, I think knowledge needs to be challenged at the same time. But there is, if you're challenged too much, you haven't got enough knowledge, then you you're going to feel inferior and everything. But if you have too much knowledge and you're not challenged enough, that's when you feel bored and unfulfilled. But if you find that balance between, you know, you've gathered experience and knowledge, and you've found that element of challenge that it's still kind of, you know, lit you're living on the edge a little bit, that's when you feel this, this absolute, I guess it's quite Zen feeling of happiness, you know, balancing it, did you find that in that moment? Had you found that kind of balance between the two?

Darren Edwards  43:48  
Yeah, so I think I'd spent five to three days fighting, I spent three days fighting through water, and it felt like a gruelling grudge match between me and the sea, you know, like it trying its best to throw me out. And it did. And me trying to fight against it to stay stable. And that moment when we, you know, picked up that Ray caught that wave. Speed was it was that sense of speed as well exhilaration, I felt stable. And in that moment, it felt like it clicked. You know, all that training, all of that kind of, you know, three days of struggle, something all of a sudden clicked in that moment, and I find myself riding the top of this wave. And I had that sense of speed, that rush sense of achievement. And it was much more than that, because it actually just changed my psyche for the rest of the trip. It made me realise that I can do things that might have been deemed not possible.

India Pearson  44:50  
Absolutely. And you've been, you have continued to do this, which brings me on nicely to free diving, which is something that you've been pioneering Do those with physical injuries and disabilities. So were you a diver before your accident? You weren't a diver? No. Okay, so where did this idea come to come through? For them? Because I mean, I see people doing it. I've never done it. I've tried not really fat is no cologne and someone's tried to get me to do it. And I didn't get it. But yeah, I can it looks incredible.

Darren Edwards  45:26  
Yeah, I think there's just something there's something really freeing about water. I think, you know, I swimming have been a big part of my recovery, my kind of cardio workouts and stuff. And when you're in that pool, when you have a, I use a poor boy, I put it between my legs, I just sort of use a strap to keep it there. And then you're swimming along, and you're swimming at the same rate as someone that's, you know, fully able bodied, I think and then you get on a kayak, you get on the water, you don't feel disabled at all. So I remember seeing a picture on Instagram of someone freediving and I kind of thought, why can I do that? And I called up and they were like, well, yeah, we've not really had anybody interested like that. But let's let's give it a go. Credit to go freediving down in down in Bath and I find myself in Bobster key, you know, in a big kind of like sunken quarry and pulling down on this line going down to I don't know, maybe 30 foot below the surface letting go and swimming. And yes, I'm filming with my hands. But it felt so freeing. You know, my wheelchair at this point was, you know, 500 metres away. And you just feel I think there's that sense of independence and that sense of tranquillity.

India Pearson  46:46  
It's a different world, isn't it? When you're sure, admittedly, at the same time,

Darren Edwards  46:50  
you're holding your breath. Yeah, you kind of trying to gauge that. What's my limit here before I need to turn around and go back up. But with gradual exposure, you go further down, you get bigger and more. And freediving is all about just controlling your emotions and controlling and enjoying and embracing that kind of tranquillity below the surface. And I think for me, it just had this real freeing, and I'm gonna do quite a lot more this year coming when the weather improves a bit. And it's yeah, it's just, it's just brilliant to get below the water to still leave at the bank, you know, waiver fund. The thing is, I have a slight hate for the phrase wheelchair dependent or wheelchair. Yeah, I think most people sort of think that you in it are, this item cannot be separated, you know, you can't pull the atom apart. Whereas the wheelchair is the mode of transport to get from one activity or hobby or passion to another, whether that's kayaking, or free diving or swimming. The wheelchair is just the mode of transport. That's all it is. It's not this limiting thing. And there's this really brilliant picture of me, freediving, which is like a bit zoomed out. And it's me coming back up on the line. And my my body is, you know, completely straight, perpendicular. And if I showed that to 100 people in public and kind of went, you know, could you point out what's wrong with this guy here? You're not gonna see it. And I think for me that was this is just this brilliant capture of what freediving means to me.

India Pearson  48:27  
Yeah, I think that's such a really amazing point that you're making, you know, you're not limited to only being able to do things in your wheelchair, like your physio suggested basketball, rugby, you know, it's there is so many more options out there, and you are still a person in a body. It's not stuck to a wheelchair. And that's what you are showcasing to the world. And it's amazing. And I know that 2022 is a busy year for you. You're you've got so you've got to the two big challenges you've got.

Darren Edwards  49:01  
Yeah. So one's a real one's really personal. So between me, you and your listeners, my dad passed away in September. And he struggled with his mental health for a couple of years, and he sadly took his own life. And yeah, and for me, I wanted to do something that gave back and help people that are in his situation. So I've put together a team of eight people that have all gone through their own mental health challenges or kind of have a connection to someone that's gone through, you know, what my family have gone through with my dad. And we're growing the channel running this channel. And we're doing it for mental health charities. So it's funny, isn't it? Adventure can be a channel and like an outlet for your emotion. And for me, I think dealing with the loss of the premature loss of my dad and unexpected loss of my dad. I needed to channel it into something that helped me process my emotions but also helped someone like him to stop them from kind of making that final thing. That's such a, you know, it was September but such a rule kind of promotional things talk about. So I tend not to talk about that. But the main one for this year is is doing something that has come about because whoever organises This is curious whether it can be done by someone in a wheelchair. So that is the World Marathon Challenge, which is seven marathons in seven days, seven continents, with number one being in Antarctica, which should be fun wheelchair and snow and ice don't normally mix that well. And it's just a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's, it's another one of those, can this be done by someone, you know, with with a high level spinal injury or disability? And it was just an offer that I couldn't, couldn't say no to. Once again, I have no experience of, you know, I've never cracked on the sea before kayak for heroes. I've never done a marathon in my wheelchair. And I'm about to attempt to do seven in seven days. With all the flying in between. Yeah,

India Pearson  51:07  
I've jet lag and everything that comes with that. Wow. And how do you even train for that is? What Yeah,

Darren Edwards  51:17  
it turns out just a lot of miles in the wheelchair. So a lot of you just have to keep going, Yeah, exactly. A lot of cardio work, a lot of gym work just to keep because as a wheelchair user, you're so dependent on your shoulders and your upper body. And there's a lot of wear and tear. So for me a lot of the work that I do is kind of rehabilitation, or what's the expression prehab. So doing a lot of band work to keep my shoulders healthy. And then there's just going to be a lot of cardio, a lot of kind of hand cycling, a lot of just getting out in my wheelchair and pushing. But it's I think it's, you know, asked me once I've done it, but it's a brilliant testament in my mind to not being fazed by something that you've never done before. I think a huge part of my brain said, you've never done one, let alone seven. And the other the 60% of my brain was like you have to do this, this is you know, so

India Pearson  52:11  
it's, I feel like you're the type of person that you get an idea in your head. And the only way you can get that idea out of your head is if you give it a go. You have you've got a spark, and you just need to light it. And you just need to go for it and see what happens. And I think that's incredible. And I'm so excited for you this year and to see what happens. And it's amazing. And so if anybody wanted to follow your journey and see what happens where where can they do it? Where can they find you?

Darren Edwards  52:42  
Well, the main that'd be Instagram, probably like everyone else in the world. So Darren Edwards underscore adventurer on Instagram. I think it's the same on Facebook to be fair, but yeah, so if anybody wants to see how far I get in the snow, yeah, you know, exactly like you said, it's one of those ones where we've character heroes, we didn't know, we went into the challenge, knowing that this could be one challenge one step too far. And there was no guarantee of success. And with the World Marathon Challenge, there is no guarantee of success. But like he said, If you don't throw yourself into it, and you don't try, you'll never know. And, you know, saying no to an opportunity like that, I think I only need to regret it.

India Pearson  53:23  
I think those things, it's just as much about the experience doing it than it is. You know, finishing there's two different things. I had a friend recently who climbed Snowdonia, and she had always wanted to climb Mount, this is her main thing. And she got snatched, she didn't quite make it to the top because the conditions weren't good and whatever. But she came back and you said what my goal was to kind of mountain, I still climbed a mountain, didn't didn't my goal was didn't say get to the top, I still did experiences, mountain experience, everything that the elements everything, and it felt great. And I think that's what it is just you know, obviously, finishing is an incredible achievement. But the experience itself is even is even more amazing. And okay, my final question for you, which I asked everybody looking back at the ripples you've made in your life? What are the biggest lessons that you've learned for keeping your mind and body healthy?

Darren Edwards  54:23  
I think the obvious one for me is perspective and gratitude. So, you know, going back to five years ago, five and a bit years ago, five and a half years ago, and that three to four seconds performing, which is still still brings up emotions. Now. You know, I can because when you're so acutely aware of everything you're about to lose, you also become acutely aware of everything in your life you have to be grateful for. So it's like a way of thinking for me it's like a self discipline is to no matter what challenges we go through in life. Me and my partner

I've been going through the IVF process, the last year, which is another roller coaster. And I think to keep myself mentally balanced, I've always been so tuned into my perspective on things and to appreciate things for what they are to be grateful for the amazing things that I have my life, even when things sometimes don't go our way, which is life, isn't it, things don't always go away. But I think

sometimes people forget how much we have to be grateful for, you know, the amazing networks they have around them.

And just having that perspective, I think for me, I've always known that my story could have ended at 26 years old, I spent enough time in hospital with people that had suffered neck injuries that were paralysed from the neck down. So suddenly, the fact I can use my own wheelchair and I can maintain my own independence becomes something I should be so grateful for.

But I think maybe you know, social media informed a lot of us have a

kind of skewed perspective of our own lives, and we measure our lives against other people, which is never a good thing to do.

So for me, I think those two things perspective, gratitude, are a definite mental way of keeping positive adventure in a physical sense has always been that ticking the box as well to keep mentally balanced and physically balanced. And it's probably like everybody listening to this podcast, we all know that adventure is such a key part of

of a positive mental health.

India Pearson  56:31  
Absolutely. Well, I could keep talking and I'm so excited, like I said, the for the next for the next year head and what you've got coming up and we'll be following your journey throughout. So thank you so much for coming and telling and sharing your story and your amazing outlook on life. Thank you, and good luck. Good luck with 2022 Exciting times.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode, the start a report podcast. If you liked what you heard, then please do write a review. It helps other like minded souls find this podcast too. If you want to get in touch and the best way to speak to me is probably via Instagram. And my handle is at with underscore India. Alright, take care and speak to you soon.